Since last posting about a month ago it seems the weeks have contained an extraordinary amount of events, people, things, times, experiences, emotions and even weather.  I can easily admit that I'm done being unemployed and I'm tired of looking for work.  I knew the market was going to be tight coming out of school, but I kind of thought it'd be a tad easier to find something -- anything.  Early on it seemed promising as I was able to assist in getting a cookbook published for a local guy and then kind of getting back to what I thought I escaped from -- endless days of Autocad drafting.  I picked up two weeks worth of drafting at a local architect's office in hopes of getting my foot in the door in the world of Bend, Oregon environmental design firms, but even with that things haven't turned up -- yet.

In addition to applying to design firms and struggling to find the times and ways to start picking up design work for myself, I've begun applying to other types of jobs.  I've applied for work in engineering firms, a web-based search engine somethingorother company, retail, customer service, etc... and it's still proven to be slower than I had hoped.  I thought I had a thing or two lined up, but it appears they aren't going to work out.  I'm confident something, the right something, will work out, but so far nothing has.  I was a little bummed out about it for a few days; it gets a little discouraging when you keep trying at something only to continually fall short, but it's given me time to get my first thesis draft submitted, look for possible housing options for my parents, spend time with friends and family and focus on a few things aside from being concerned about work. 

I can't say enough about how beautiful the autumn is up here.  In my abundance of free time I find myself taking walks through Drake Park to wrap up my day before heading home.  Usually I'll head out of the house late morning and make my way to a local coffee shop, usually Backporch (the unofficial, non-paying sponsor of my thesis), to scan through Craigslist for job postings, send out resumes and applications, and then get going on my thesis document.  Unfortunately Backporch closes at 5:00 PM so I usually end up having to be out sometime around then.  From there, before heading home, I usually stop off at the park to read through my bible and then walk along the river.  It seems like autumn hit one day and it was vibrant and vivd and just extraordinary in color, and since it's been a slow transition towards winter.  The wind blows more and more leaves from the tree branches, coating the green-for-now-grass with a blanket of yellows and reds while the autumn air teeters on a fine line between crisp and cutting. Fall and winter last year were miserable.  Things just kind of compounded, one on top of another, and it seemed like winter would never end.  I'm excited about this winter.  I'm excited about the new challenges and the new opportunities, and even more so about this continual process of new beginnings.  

Spring might get all the credit for new life and new growth, but its Fall that promotes transitions and allows for reflection and a deep-rooted foundation.  Horticulturally speaking, it's pretty incredible what happens in the fall months.  During the temperate months, trees use their roots to find water and their leafy canopies to capture sunlight and carbon dioxide.  Through science (and like 50 kabillion years of evolution...or something) the trees turn all that stuff into food.  The tree stores up this food it collects and when autumn hits and the tree needs to survive the harsh winter months it cuts off the distribution of energy to excess and unneeded places.  It's this transition, the tree cutting off its own excess -- the things that would ultimately kill the tree if they were to remain -- that allows it to survive, to grow and to flourish.  In terms of seasons and in terms of life, it's fall and it's full of transitions -- all of which are exciting and will bring amazing new growth.

With nothing really (at all, actually) on my plate for today -- October 30th -- I decided I'd go out for the afternoon with my camera.  I drove around for awhile with a few things in mind, but when I got to the locations I was envisioning the subject matter wasn't quite what I was hoping for.  So, I drove about 10 miles west of town out to Tumalo Falls.  I've heard it's quite nice, but hadn't ever been out there.  It must be at a relatively higher elevation since it was blanketed in snow and much colder than it was back in town, but it was the perfect way of getting out.  There's a really short hike to the top of the falls (which was great because my hands were freezing) but there was a bunch of viewpoints and turnouts from the road that made the whole thing pretty incredible.  There was no one else out there so it was just cloudy skies, a slight snowfall and the sounds of a roaring waterfall.  "Everybody needs beauty as well as bread.  Places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul."

What I'm Listening To: Yim Yames - My Sweet Lord 

It's almost been a month since taking up residency in Bend, Oregon.  Things still seem temporary, I guess that's because nothing has actually become permanent.  Job leads have been scarce and I don't have a place of my own so I haven't put any thought into changing my license plates (which would go a long way towards getting fellow drivers to stop giving me dirty looks), driver's license state affiliation, or making sure that all my bank and credit card addresses have been changed.  Despite this, it still feels like home now. Upon finishing school and leaving Berkeley I thought I had intentions of being here for a short while figuring out how to move on. I have sent out several dozen resumes across the western coastal states and a few more inland, but the responses have been few and far between.  It's not that I've grown frustrated and have given up on the pursuit of a job, but its more that my mindset has changed based on the experiences that have taken place since getting here. 

Being near family -- well, technically with family since I'm living with my sister and brother-in-law -- has been such a great transition from Berkeley.  Despite my great MUD classmates and numerous great memories, overall it was a rather tough year.  It had more ups than downs, but it seemed like it was a year of separation. I was fully prepared for being away from family and friends, but by the time it was done I was really ready for it to be over. Since arriving in Bend I've been completely blessed -- I've gotten to spend way more time with Heidi and Ben, really get to know my brother's now-wife, help out and be a part of their wedding, see my parents, visit with grandparents and extended family, and even on top of that I've been fortunate to meet some really great individuals and be a part of a larger community.  A lot of these things have gone a long way towards solidifying my notions of wanting to stay in Bend and have turned into something more than just an idea. Even if things aren't completely set in stone as of yet, it seems like the foundation is getting set and things are starting to take form.

I'm currently doing my best to stay focused on writing my thesis, which is probably about a week overdue in terms of getting a comprehensive rough draft sent off to my advisors. My only hope with my paper is that I can really stay focused on it for the next week here and get that sent off. With the new school year having started for my committee, I'm sure I've got a little more time than was originally scheduled.  On top of that I've been trying to find work and create work.  I need to find something that can pay the bills in the meantime while I look towards creating some work for myself. I've begun setting up the framework for what will hopefully be a landscape design company.  I know things are slow in the economy and I'm not one to sit back and necessarily wait for something to find me, so I figure I'll do something to give myself a fighting chance to do something fun, make some money and continue on in my passion for design.  I'm comfortable with where I'm at and confident in where things are going, it'll just be a matter of time before my license plates are changed and I get one of those fake looking Oregon driver's licenses.   

I made it up to Bend about a week ago and have started settling in.  My first few days here were a bit scattered as I moved around a little bit between places to stay and where to sleep.  It's been nice moving into the Delery's spare bedroom and being able to do some laundry, hang up some shirts, and unpack the suitcase a little.  Being able to have a little bit of space to myself makes the whole "not having a job and not having a place of my own" thing quite a bit easier.  It's been nice to be able to spend some time with my sister and Ben, getting to see my brother and spending time getting to know his fiance Julie.  But, still it has been a difficult transition.  I thought I was ready to leave Berkeley and say farewell to everyone down there.   Turns out change can be tough and transition can be challenging.

As I've settled in it's become increasingly easy to forget about my remaining academic responsibilities, like actually writing my thesis, and kind of just acting like I'm on vacation.  After spending the past three months doing absolutely nothing but working on a thesis design and drinking seemingly unhealthy amounts of coffee, so a short vacation seems warranted.  It was kind of like going back to studio after christmas or summer break and struggling to get back into school mode, so I'm hoping that if I don't ever get out of that mindset that I won't have to fight to get back into it.  It is the last thing I have to do and is part of the biggest academic project I have or most likely will ever have to work on so I think I'd prefer to just be done with it.

My trip up the coast was an enormous amount of fun.  I think I actually enjoyed the driving and random stopping for photos, food and rest more than I did the destinations.  Driving up the 101 is an awesome way to spend 4 hours at a time in a car.  The scenery changes so drastically and so frequently, but still maintains an equally awe inspiring experience.  Through northern California the landscape changes from the dry, rolling hills of wine country into the nothing-but-amazing redwood forests and then slowly transitions into a scenic coastline unlike anything you see in southern California.

As I made my way through Oregon it was everything I imagined it being.  As I set the cruise control to 60 MPH and leisurely made my way through the entire length of the state on mostly two-lane highways that effortlessly weaved from dense, forest canopies to stunning views of and endless, wind swept ocean.  There were so many spots I wish I could have pulled over and explored, but even though I set up campsites only a few hours apart from one another, there was just too much to see and too much to do.  

My time in Washington was rather short and somewhat uneventful.  I spent a little less than 24 hours there as I drove through Astoria and as far north as the Long Beach area to camp at Cape Disappointment.  It was probably the most beautiful campsite I had during my trip -- the campsite was nice and separated from other campers and backed right up onto the beach.  The only downside was that it rained the entire night and made it difficult to get out and take the photos I had hoped.  Anyways, driving up the 101 has been something I had thought of doing for awhile now, and it was definitely what I had hoped.  My only recommendation is that you start from the north and work your way south.  There are so many random viewpoints and things to see along the coast,, but when you're driving north the ocean ends up being on the other side of the road and you miss out on a lot opportunities. 

My time spent in Portland was enjoyable, if not perfect.  I was really really hoping for sunny days and late sunsets, but it ended up being partially rainy and I was too tired to stay up too late regardless.  I had a meeting with a firm, which I was hoping to be more of an interview, but it turned out that they weren't looking to add additional staff since they weren't getting too much new work in at the time.  Who knows if it'll turn into anything more, but for the time being I'm basically back to square one when it comes to finding work.  It'll be an interesting process, I've just got to keep with it.

I took the historic highway back home along the Columbia Gorge, stopping several times to photograph some historic landmarks and some pretty remarkable waterfalls.  The last day of travel, whether it's five days or twenty-five days, is always the most difficult.  It's a mental thing it seems. You know where you're headed and you just kind of want to be there.  Now that I'm here, I'm glad I am.  It's nice being around family and do some much needed catching up.  I'm working on a few options for work in the meantime -- some side work and part time gigs that hopefully can turn up some money.  In the mean time I'll work on my thesis, enjoy the time I have up here, and just see where life takes me.

What I'm Listening To: Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man

I finished, presented and defended my design thesis this past Tuesday which was the comprehensive result of a years worth of work.  I moved up to Berkeley just over a year ago and it doesn't seem possible that it's actually been that long.  It's been a year of taking the good with the bad -- the ups and the downs -- and understanding that there is a reason for both sides. It's also been a year of self discovery and maturation. Things may have not worked out in some aspects as they were originally planned, but it seems like things always work out in some way.  It's an odd feeling packing up and moving out.  I feel like I just arrived and now it's time to say farewell -- at least for now.

So, that's it.  My thesis is done, the truck's just about loaded up and it's time to see where life takes me.  I can without a doubt say I wouldn't have gotten to where I am today without the continual support of my parents, siblings and loving family, my friends back home, new friends I've met along the way here, and of course my fellow eight MUD students.  Having such great people to share life's positives with and knowing that I've always got a willing ear to speak to when things get rough does more for me than I can express.  Life is about being close to the ones you love and I don't think I could ask for much more.  As I head out for four nights of camping along the California, Oregon, and Washington coasts and two nights in Portland before heading into Bend, where Ben and Heidi have graciously offered to let me stay with them for the time being, I have a difficult time describing the exact emotions.  I'm excited and scared about what the future holds, but I can't help but feel like I'm leaving a number of things and people behind.

I'll post again in a few days with some photos.  

Refundable

What I'm Listening To: 

Miles Biked: 0 / 729.9

Here Comes the Sun 

What I'm Listening To: Murder by Death - I'm Comin' Home

Miles Biked: 0 / 729.9

Elemental

I got an invite to meet my good friend Anna and a couple of her co-workers at a little pub in Oakland for lunch at 12:30.  We ended up having lunch and drinking beers until about 1:45 when they decided that the best way to not have to go back to work after lunch was to invite the their two bosses down for a beer as the two of them made their way back to the office after their own lunch.  So, their bosses showed up and sat down for what ended up being two more beers and without issue or warning decided that they'd pick up the check for everything that had been consumed up until that point.  I had no idea that they were going to decide to pay for my lunch and drinks, but it was really quite nice.  

We headed out a little after 3:00 so they could head back to what I imagine was a mostly unproductive afternoon of work and I started driving home.  Eric and Chris were driving up to stay the weekend and I knew they were getting close, but it turns out they were five or six cars ahead of me on the freeway -- talk about timing.  We got back to my place, they unpacked and we headed to BevMo to pick up some weekend drinks and snacks before deciding on Zachary's for dinner.

It was my first time going to Zachary's and it probably won't be my last.  They serve Chicago style deep dish pizza which I'm not typically a huge fan of, but this stuff was great.  I think we all probably ate just a little too much, but I don't think anyone really regretted doing so.  The night was capped off by heading home and walking over to Albatross for a few drinks and some checkers.  

It really seemed like a busy day, but all it really was was about 14 hours of eating and drinking.  I wouldn't call it productive by any means, but it was fun.

What I'm Listening To: Jaymay - Gray or Blue

Miles Biked: 0 / 729.9

Unexplainable

This freaky bird/person was in a window display in a little shop on 4th street.  I walked up there to work on my at Peet's just so I could get out of the house a little bit in the late morning and came across this thing.  I'm not sure what it's selling or how it's getting people in the store, but I thought it was a little odd.

I headed into San Francisco later in the evening to pick up a friend and head over to the Boom Boom Room -- a fun little dive bar slash music venue.  We didn't really know exactly who was playing or what to expect, but that can usually lead to a fun surprise every now and then.  The opening band was really quite good.  When there's a female singer it's hard to make comparisons to bands that don't have female singers, but I'd say they had a sound similar to Jaymay or even Matt Costa.  A little slow with an array of guitar rhythms and nice melodies.  The second band was borderline obnoxious and probably spent just as much time telling poor jokes and making dumb banter between songs as they did actually performing.  Nonetheless, it was fun.

In some instances I wish I was a little less meek and a little more willing to make things known.  I guess we're probably all a little afraid of either being out of line, being rejected, looking dumb or ruffling a few feathers along the way, but without making myself clear more often I figure I'll be left wondering "what if" more often than not.  I suppose it's better to take the risk and gain the knowledge, than be left wondering about things for life. 

What I'm Listening To: Death Cab For Cutie - You Can Do Better Than Me

Miles Biked: 8.1 / 729.9